Vama Oswal
So, here are a few ways you can help to build the mental health of your child –
- Build stronger and trustworthy relationships – A child’s view of the world is formed based on their earliest experiences. Try spending quality time with the young ones. Lesser screen time and more Lego time, family meals & nature walks, etc.
- Provide Liberty – Let them try eating by themselves even if it means creating a bit of a mess. Let them explore their environment. Say things like, “You can go and look what’s inside the room. I’ll be right here if you need me”.
- Develop Self-Esteem – Praise them when they do well, especially when they tried something new. Recognize their positives and understand that their potential is not determined by their weaknesses.
- Respect their decision – Making decisions is a stepping stone towards empowerment. Do not force your child to sing/perform in front of the relatives if they don’t want to at times. Respecting decisions does not mean submissiveness. As a parent, you can always offer a rational choice and enquire what made the child choose one side.
- Offer choices and work towards acceptable solutions – This allows the child to explore all options and make an informed and decision. And when at crossroads, it can allow opportunities for mutual respect.
- Encourage communication – “How do you feel?” “How was your school today?” “Did you learn something interesting?” “We can talk about it when you want/ we can draw how we feel (for younger kids)”. Open channels of communication help in giving a chance to actively vent out and cope up with situations.
- Be Empathetic and talk openly about emotions – Imagine yourself in their situation. As mentioned before, if you can get upset over losing your phone, they can feel the same over losing a toy. Communicate this understanding, like – “I understand that you are angry right now” “It is okay. We all can get sad at times. I am right here” “I know this is tough for you and you are trying so hard.”
- Limit your teaching – When the child picks up a toy like a cow figurine and asks, “What’s this?” Instead of telling him directly that it is a cow, you may want to encourage the child to learn on his own. Ask “What do you think that is” or “Have you seen it before?” The point is to empower the child and when we ask their opinion, they feel confident and respected.
- Foster natural modes of communication – We teach our children language for ease of understanding. However, mediums like Art, Play, Movement are naturally imbibed in us. No one teaches us how to play or appreciate color. At times, words cannot do justice in how we feel. But we could try using drawing, role play, free flowing movement to express it. Playing is essential for children as it intrinsically allows for cohesive development. For example, children are willing to re-construct a broken Lego tower time and again. It enhances their motor skills in addition to life skills of resilience, positive self-esteem, autonomy etc.
- Listen and Be there – Often children don’t expect solutions from us, but they are just excited to share their unique angle/view and show their ability to learn new things. During this time, they just want the presence and acknowledgment from their immediate caregivers.
- Don’t Rush the Child – Every child has their own unique speed of learning and doing. We tend to make the child learn something so that he is ahead than other children. Avoid it! Maybe, the task is not age appropriate.
No facet of human health can be undermined. Fulfilling the biological needs of individuals allows them to survive. But, when we fulfill psychological needs, we allow people to THRIVE!
The choice is ours.
Mental health is not just the need of the hour. It is the need of a lifetime!
