Suchika Mehra
Having read the benefits, the obvious question is – To what extent should we be honest about our problems without spreading confusion or giving stress to our children? According to many research studies, a child can often deal with a crisis reasonably well as opposed to an ‘unexplained tensed atmosphere.’
Here are some pointers, which might come handy when you decide to share your struggles with your child.
- Share your problems, but be mindful of how you share: Apprise him of your struggles, but at the same time, do tell him that there is a solution also available. We just need to focus on finding one. Be ready for the questions. Make the conversation light and relaxed. Reassure him that this phase will pass too.
- Make it edifying: Talk it out, hear him out and help him understand “the whys and the hows of the problem.” Use these testing times to determine your child’s attitude, thought pattern, and reactions. Use the situation to teach him new life skills. All this will help him; cognize how to be wary of specific behaviors or actions, which can land him in trouble; & develop a hope that, its just a matter of time and he needs to find a appropriate solution, maintain a calm mind to deal with struggles.
- Stay truthful: Understandably, we want to keep our children away from worries and challenging times, but it’s important not to say that things are OK when they’re indeed not.
- Keep a tab on what you share: Keep discussion age-appropriate. Share only those facts of problems, which your child can process and absorb.
- Tell him that you are not the only one going through tough times. Struggles are the part and parcel of life. They come and go. And they can be resolved with patience, tact and intelligence.
- Teach him how to be compassionate and brave.
- Focus on handling the situation calmly. This has a rippling effect. Make your child learn to maintain his composure during struggling times.
- More importantly, trust him and believe in him.
